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Alan Partridge was No. 7 in the 100 Greatest TV Characters of all time, Channel 4 - 07/05/01 |
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Alan Info Desk >
Alan's Ideas |
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Remember the Ideas for television programmes that Alan had during the TV series I'm Alan Partridge - Series 1? Maybe you remember the different catchphrases that Alan or the characters say in the shows?
Well, this page is here to illustrate the ideas visually. Some even have an artists impression of what they may look like. If there are any missing, please e-mail so we can make this page complete.
If you create an image of one of Alan's ideas, send them in so it can be placed on this page. |
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Idea for film extravaganza. Plot, thus: Malcolm McDowell is trapped in the future. He’s being pursued by a cyberpunk from the past, played by Rutger Hauer.
- image thanks to Mary Stark. |
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Jet from Gladiators to host a millennium barn dance at Yeovil aerodrome. [He puts the Dictaphone down for a second. A worrying thought then occurs to him and he switches it on again.] Properly policed. It must not, I repeat not, turn into an all-night rave.
- image thanks to Lisa Firth. |
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Idea for a television programme based on Michael Palin’s ‘Pole To Pole’. Except I circumnavigate the globe only driving through countries where they drive on the left. And I do it in a lovely old Bullnose Morris. We could call it 'Around The World With Alan Partridge In A Bullnose On The Left'.
- image thanks to Vic. |
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A detective series based in Norwich called 'Swallow'. Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it’s necessary. He’s not a criminal, but he will, perhaps, travel 80mph on the motorway if he, for example, he wants to get somewhere quickly… |
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'Alan Attack!'. Like the Cook Report, but with a more slapstick approach. |
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'A Partridge Amongst The Pigeons'
- image courtesy of Big Posh Sod from the message board. |
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'Knowing M.E., Knowing You'. I, Alan Partridge, talk to M.E. sufferers about the condition. You know, we intersperse it with their favourite pop songs, make it light-hearted, you know, give them a platform, you’ve got to keep the energy up, because… |
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'Inner-City Sumo'. We take fat people from the inner cities, put them in big nappies, and then get them to throw each other out of a circle that we draw with chalk on the ground.
- image thanks to Jamie Greenway. |
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Monkey Tennis.
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Arm wrestling with Chas and Dave.
- images courtesy of Big Posh Sod from the message board. |
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Cooking in prison. |
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'Youth Hosteling with Chris Eubank’.
- images thanks to David Harland. |
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Idea for a programme, ladyshapes with Alan Partridge. I look at the changing shape of ladies through the ages, from fat, chubby ladies of the Renaissance, to hard-faced Cromwellian sourpusses, right up to twentieth-century well-toned women like [picks up picture of Jet] Sharon Davies and Jet from Gladiators. |
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Idea for a programme entitled ' Yachting Mishaps'. Some funny, some tragic. Presented by that man who was trapped upside-down in his hull eating chocolate. |
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Idea for a programme called ' Free Spirits'. No, change that to ' Bad Attitude'. |
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Could we come 'live from the Blarney-stone'?
- image thanks to Shane Reilly.
- image thanks to Paul Bolton |
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Idea for a mountaineering drama entitled ' Bonnington'’, with Brian Blessed in the title role. It’s filmed on location, on Everest, with close-ups on Scafell Pike. No-one will know the difference, we’ll just paint the rocks white. I also know for a fact that Brian Blessed can act at high altitude without oxygen. (From the Add-on extras).
- a publicity shot for Bonnington - image thanks to Lisa Firth. |
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Idea for a programme entitled 'Roman Hobbies'. Self-explanatory. (From the Add-on extras) |
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'The History of Chocolate', a light-hearted look at confectionary through the ages. The full chocolate gamut, erm, the Ripple versus Flake debate, chocolate banjos – what went wrong…
- images thanks to Lee Francis. |
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'Dr Nowt ', John the builder suggests an idea for a Yorkshire type Bond (I'm Alan Partridge Series 2 - Episode 4 - Never Say Alan Again).
- image thanks to "Randy" Andy McGuy of Register League Table Association (RLTA). |
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'Bravo Six Zero', Michael describes his full sex with a woman (I'm Alan Partridge Series 2 - Episode 6):
Michael: Aye, I come back this morning on a National Express coach. It was sort of like a SAS operation, you know. Uh, your mission: gan till Cardiff, have full sex with a woman, come back on the coach. Sort of like, er, Operation Bravo Two Zero.
Alan: I think in your case, Michael, it was Bravo Six Zero.
Alan: By, er, Randy McNab.
Michael: Randy McKnob.
- image thanks to "Randy" Andy McGuy of Register League Table Association (RLTA). |
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